May the destroyers of our world rain their cosmic force upon you! Seriously speaking, this is a place from which I get to both curse and praise the world without actually affecting it in any physical way.


February 14

This date meant nothing to me for fifteen years. All I ever noticed was that everyone got fairly excited over it, less so in my all-boys pri school, but more in RV. Occasionally, people would also mistake it for my birthday (Feb 1).
Now it makes me emo...
I got a present but can't give it because it's glaringly obvious like that. On the other hand leaving it in my cupboard means the present will glare at me instead. It's a bit like talking to her. I barely know anyone in her class and I've gone inside before so they recognise my face. It doesn't help that I went inside to talk to her. Only.
I might've made it easier for myself by talking her today, provided I had had the courage to come up out of the blue to say hi. I didn't and I hate myself for it. To her it would have just been a chance meeting with an old classmate, but it didn't happen. For a full two minutes I watched her as amazingly she came over to where our class was eating and passed by more of my friends standing around. After eating, I snuck glances at her from easily the opposite end of the canteen. Now I realise that was my way of indirectly telling myself I had regretted my decision.
I have to grasp every opportunity to talk to her. Carefully, of course, but with a ruthlessness in pursuing those opportunities. Or else I'll find myself being emo half the day, not neccesarily at the right times.

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